Devotion

My husband and I have been going through a book called 100 Prayers of thanksgiving (does not give a specific author).  We read this together usually at breakfast and we don't get it done everyday but have enjoyed them.

Today's really hit me as it fits my blog very well, I feel.  So I am going to share it with you.

Growing in Christ

When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.  1 Corinthians 13:11 NKJV

     Norman Vincent Peale had the following advice for believers of all ages:  "Ask the God who made you to keep remaking you."  That advice, of course, is perfectly sound, but often ignored.

The journey toward spiritual maturity lasts a lifetime.  As Christians, we can and should continue to grow in the love and the knowledge of our Savior as long as we live.

When we cease to grow, either emotionally or spiritually, we do ourselves a profound disservice.  But, if we study God's Word, if we obey His commandments, and if we live in the center of His will, we will not be "stagnant" believers; we will, instead, be growing Christians... and that's exactly what God wants for our lives.

"With God, it isn't who you were that matters; it's who you are becoming."  Liz Curtis Higgs

"Every great company, every great brand, and every great career has been built in exactly the same way:  bit by bit, step by step, little by little."   John Maxwell

Today's Prayer

Dear Lord, I know that I still have so many things to learn.  I won't stop learning, I won't give up, and I won't stop growing.  Every day, I will do my best to become a little bit more like the person You intend for me to be.  Amen

I just really felt like this was one I needed to and wanted to share.  I know it really hit home with me.  Many have in this little book but I have been lazy about sharing.

Hope you enjoy this little tidbit for today.  

Home from Haiti

I am home from Haiti and already miss being there.  It is good to be home and especially be with my husband but the time in Haiti was amazing.  I did well flying...most of the time.  I had a great team and they were all a big help to make sure I had a window seat and that someone from the team was next to me.  I was thankful to God for putting a remarkable team together and so very thankful that He chose me to be a part of that team.

There were 8 of us from our church and we went out in 2 teams.  One went to work on helping the Haitians build houses and the other (which I was with) went out to be with the kids and do VBS stuff with them.

We rode in what was called a Tap-Tap.  A truck with benches in the back.  Our driver was awesome with all the traffic.

This one is loaded with our stuff for the day.  We then added about 6 people--it got crowded but it was fun.

The first day we were near the guys building but we were at a tent church and had over 100 kids--it was so much fun.  It was very hot in that tent but loving those kids was so very easy.  Some tried to teach me Creole which is their language.  I have a hard enough time with English so this was more laughing than anything.  I really enjoyed it.

The electricity was spotty and it was hard to regulate the temp. at night so the first night us 3 ladies froze.  We shared a really nice room.  I think we all felt a bit spoiled where we were.  Having someone cook for us all week was wonderful.  The food was great but I didn't always know what I was eating.  On Monday I ate a bit too much and ended up sick during the night.  This was not fun but I still thanked God for getting me through it and for sending me to Haiti.  I had to stay back as my team headed out on Tues. and that was hard but I had to get my energy back and rest up.  With no TV or Internet it was a great time of resting and prayer.  I spent the day with God and that is something I don't do here.  I have many distractions so it is easy to do other things but when I was in the compound with no one that spoke English it was a time for me to just be with God.  He has a plan for everything and maybe that was something He wanted from me--to trust, surrender and just spend a day with Him.

The rest of the week went well.  I did lose about 3 lbs from being sick and then cautious about what I ate.  I felt good though.

We spent Wed. going to pick up 2 teachers from one of the orphanages and take them to buy books.  That was a lot of fun.  They were so excited and thankful to have books for the kids.

We all spent Thurs at the orphanage.  The construction team was building new, safe benches for the kids to sit on and we were playing and loving on the kids.  It was so easy to get attacked to them and I look at the pictures and miss them so much.  They loved to wear my hat and sunglasses.  Run their fingers up my veins on my arm and play with my hair.  I had my hair braided many times since it is to fine to hold the braid.  Oh and they loved to take pictures and have their picture taken.  They knew my camera was in my right pocket and would point and say "photo".  So about 50 of my around 400 pictures were taken by kids.

Friday 3 of the construction guys went back to work more on things at the orphanage while the rest of us took a trip up to the mountain.  We went to the Baptist Mission which was really neat to see.  We went to an overlook to see out over Port-au-Prince.  That was just amazing.  Haiti is a beautiful country with beautiful people.

I fell in love with the country and the people. I feel so blessed to have been called to go.

Saturday 3 of the guys helped with some things that needed done around the compound while the rest of us went to a school that had not had a mission team come in before.  We had about 60 kids and did skits and things with them.  It was so much fun and several came forward to receive Christ--that was amazing.  As we were leaving I was hugging one of the young boys and he asked me to pray for him.  He gave me his name and I have been since.  I don't know exactly his need but God does.

We also had a pizza party for the staff that evening.  They didn't have to cook for us and it was so much fun to see how excited there were to have pizza.

Well if you kept up with me this far--thanks.  It is so hard to put into words everything and how so very thankful and blessed I feel to have gotten this opportunity.  I do hope to get a chance to go back and next time take my husband.  I know he would love it.

God really took me way outside my comfort zone but I took comfort in trusting Him.  He stretched me way more than I have ever been stretched.  I look forward to see what He has in store for me next--very exciting!!

Buried alive...

Well, just 6 more days and I will either be on my way or in Haiti.  The last 4 weeks went quick and have been very busy. 

I feel I am sinking or maybe just have tunnel vision.  I am completely focused on this trip.  Packing and re-packing to keep the weight down--not easy when going for a week in a Country like Haiti. 

I over pack and now I am working to cut out things I don't think I will need--again NOT easy.  I have never been there, not sure what all I might need/want.  I don't want to take things that will weigh me down that I don't need but I also don't want to forget something important.

I have to take the time to remember to eat--for me that is bad, I have got to eat.  I have been running almost non-stop for a while now and I am ready to slow down. 

I still have things to prepare for our trip.  Things to do with the kids--FUN!!

I am very thankful to my husband for being so supportive and helpful.  I have been asking my son lots of air travel questions and having him help me weigh my suitcase...over and over and over...in hopes to get it under 45 lbs.  I have asked my mom many questions and have her making me something--that I may not take depending on room.  I have called the airline and asked questions.  I have called the airport and TSA--yep I am that CRAZY!!  I just want to make sure I do everything right.

I hope to have some great stories to tell when I get back and maybe a picture or two to share.  I keep telling myself that the flights are part of this adventure and to just sit back and enjoy them.  Some times it works and other times not so much but I am working to think positive and I know there are many that are praying for me and my team--THANKS AND KEEP UP THE PRAYERS!!

I told my husband that when I get back I am going to sit on our new couch (which has yet to come in) and just watch TV and do NOTHING for a week.  He said that is exactly what he wants me to do.  What a great guy I have!!

OK, back to work since I am done with lunch.  Please keep up those prayers...

Crisis & Craziness

It is so hard to find time to get on here these days.  Life has been absolutely crazy, more so since I am going to Haiti in...well just over 11 days.  The last 3 weeks have been met with so many changes.

My oldest son went to Japan for 2 weeks to visit his girlfriend.  YES, he was there when the earthquake hit.  He just got home this past Sunday.  PLEASE PRAY FOR JAPAN!!  Unfortunately he had to leave his girlfriend there. 

My heart is so broken for the people of Japan.  I heard on the news someone say something about how this was going to affect our economy--WHAT--who cares.  What about the lives of all the people in Japan with no homes, no food, lost loved ones.  Their fears of more earthquakes and tsunami's and the nuclear plant.  Really, come on are we really that spoiled here in the USA??  YEP!!  I admit I am one of the spoiled Americans but my heart does not want to be that way.  I care much more about people than I do money or stuff.

OK, so with my oldest son in Japan my 2 youngest moved out into an apartment together.  My husband and I had an "empty nest" for 12 days--FUN!! 

With my youngest 2 moving out we gave them our family room furniture.  This was planned before I knew about and decided to go to Haiti.  So we are in a rush to get the floor up, carpet in and the furniture here on top of me preparing for this trip.  Still working on all that.

Add in doctor visits and shots, lots of shopping AND working until last week when I quit my job.  Yes, I gave them 2 weeks on the 28th of Feb.  I just have been so overwhelmed with so much going on that I knew it was time to let the job go.  On top of all that our computer is acting up--not sure what is up with that but it is driving me crazy (well crazier).

So the last few weeks have been quite a ride and I would like to get off this crazy bus BUT I still have so much to do in the next 12 days and then to serve in Haiti for a week.  I am still afraid to fly but I know people are praying for me.  I have good days and bed ones.  I have nightmares about flying.  One thing I do know is God did not send me on this trip for nothing so no matter what happens He will be with me and I will be OK.  I am still praying for great flights and no anxiety or panic on the flights.  I don't want the rest of the team having to drag me onto the next flight.

Well that kind of sums up the last few weeks...briefly.  Hope yours is going well and if you are like me you are ready for Spring!!  Now back to getting things done around here...

Obedience is not easy!

For the last year I have been really praying that God would use me and the gifts that He has given me.  With this prayer comes responsibilities that at times are not fun or easy.  Sometimes they can be quite painful...at least in the mind (or my crazy mind).

I thought my job at the Children's Hospital was it.  God did use me there but either I got in my own head or maybe it was a stepping stone to prepare me for something more.  It did stretch me.  I had been a stay-at-home mom for so long and was on MY schedule which was nice but the job made me step outside my comfort zone just a bit.

Recently I have been really asking God what He wants from me.  I really want to serve and grow into the godly woman He wants me to be.  Several things have come to mind, some of which I would not have thought of because they are things I didn't really care to do.  We will see.  I am trusting and that is what I have to do.

Well, on Sunday the 13th towards the end of our church service the pastor announced that they needed more people to go to Haiti.  I have always wanted to do a missions trip but the timing was not right and the call was not there.  This time I told my husband I wish I could go BUT there were so many reasons why I could not.

So I spend a lot of that week battling with God.  The list was long on why I could not or should not go and I told that list to God over & over but my heart kept coming back to going.

As we were heading to church on Sunday I thought to myself if they still needed people I would "check in to it".  Well they did and so I looked at my husband who was on the same page as I was and we went to talk to the pastor.  Yes, they needed more people and had prayed that God would bring the team together that day since the trip is coming up very quickly.  I had to give them a definite answer that day.  YIKES!!

After evening church I went to the team leader and told him YES I want to go.  Once I made that commitment a sense of peace came over me.  I knew I was being obedient to God.

"And this is love:  that we walk in obedience to his commands.  As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love."  2 John 6

I still have the peace knowing I am doing what I am called to do but I have been battling intense fear.  Not so much fear of going to Haiti but flying...yes I have a fear of flying.  Not crashing, although I am sure if the plane were going down I would have fear then.  This is just a fear of being trapped in the tube.  I know crazy...  Every time I even think about flying I get anxious.  I thought maybe I could drive to Florida then just take one plane instead of the 3 there and 3 back.

To be honest I have no idea why God is calling me to do this.  I do have a servant heart and have always wanted to do missions.  I have asked God--why now??  I have soooo many reasons not to go--why now?? 

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord.  "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."  Isaiah 55:8-9

I don't know if I will know completely why now but it doesn't really matter.  If God has called me to go to Haiti then He will equip me with everything I need to do His work while I am there.  He will also give me everything I need to got on those airplanes (maybe some really nice meds to calm me).

I am being stretched much harder than I felt ready for.  I am stepping WAY outside my comfort zone.  Even through all the stress, fear and never ending thoughts of things I need to do and get before I go I still feel at complete peace that I am doing what God has called me to do and that is GO. 

I think of Gideon (and many others in the Bible that said they were not equip but God always gave them what they needed, when they obeyed Him) and how God used him.  Gideon was not the strongest or the bravest and was considered the least of his tribe but he was willing to be used.  So like Gideon I am not the strongest or the bravest but I am willing and I think that is all God wants me to be, simply willing.

In just over 4 weeks I leave with my team from church to go to Haiti.  My heart is already there and I have never been.  Funny how that works.  I leave you with one request--please PRAY!!  Pray for our team, pray for God to work through us, pray for the people of Haiti to be open to hearing the Gospel, pray for me and ALL my fears (esp. flying).  Thank you!

Life as I know it....

I am now a working woman and life as I knew it is different than what I have known for so long.  Of course life changes all the time.  This is a good...NO a GREAT change for me, just an adjustment and not just for me but also for my husband.  He is my biggest cheerleader but still having to adjust to a tired wife & a working wife.  I don't think it has been much of an adjustment for the kids, maybe a little but they are older and doing their own thing anyway. 

This is how I feel when I am home:

I am sure I will get used to all this soon and will not be so tired when I am home.  I did feel a bit overwhelmed on Thurs. after working Tues & Wed knowing I was working Friday.  I just felt like I had a lot to do and not enough time to get it all done in.  How did I take care of everything when I worked before?  At that time I had 2 small kids BUT I was younger and didn't know as much about life as I do now.  Plus I wasn't away from home for 14 hours on the days I worked.  Right now I drive to work watching the sunrise & home watching the sunset--pretty cool but I know that will change with the seasons.

I do know that I am absolutely LOVING my job.  I know I am right where God wants me at this time in my life.  I find I am so tired at home but I have the energy I need for those long days.  I appreciate all the prayers from family & friends that are praying for me--they are helping.  I see God's hand in everything I am doing and how He has been working in & through me in this job.  I feel so blessed I don't even have words for how I feel.

On Thurs, my day off, I asked my husband if I could just be a lazy housewife.  Of course that is not what I want but I was feeling so tired and overwhelmed.  I am over that...at least for today.

As I was preparing for my week I was cutting strawberries to take for a snack and it reminded me of when my kids were younger and cutting up LOTS of fruit for them and standing at the sink for a long time to cut all kinds of fruit to have it all eaten in a very short time.  Four kids can go through fruit FAST.  I usually made 2-3 bowls and made them eat it over 2-3 days instead of all at once.  Anyway, as I was standing there cutting the strawberries I thought of that and I was a little sad, I was missing having young ones around but I know that phase of my life has passed and one day I hope to be cutting strawberries for my grandkids.  It is funny how ones perspective on an event from years ago can be so different.  Back then I am sure I was dealing with impatient kids and a list of things to get done while cutting all that fruit but now all I remember is how much I loved doing that for my kids.  I don't think about any of the "stresses" that may have been surrounding me at that time in my life.  Interesting!!

OK, a little off the subject but that is how my brain works--haha.  I have been working on a balance to make sure I put God as my first priority of everyday.  I am getting up and have my spot where I sit and have a little prayer then do my devotion & the Bible reading to go with that.  I then listen to worship music as I get ready, then on my drive to work I use that as my prayer time.  So far this is working out very well for me.  I feel that God has prepared me well for this job and he will cont. to give me what I need to cont. to do this work for him.  I see it more as a ministry for God to use me than a job.  I pray God will use me to serve everyone I work with.

One verse that I came across about a week ago has been a BIG help for me is Psalm 37:5 (this is the NLT version).  I made a card up to carry with me and here is what it looks like:

I pray this everyday.  I commit ALL I do to the Lord, Trust him & ask for his help knowing he will help me in all I do. 

How reassuring!!

(I am not sure why I used this picture but I thought it cute even though the cat is after the little birdies).

.....Ummmm

OK, so last week was my first week on my job and it went just fine.  I said I would come back with some struggles I had.  Well here I am and I am not sure where to start. 

Besides recovering from an illness, being tired and a bit overwhelmed with so much information I did have a bit of a struggle with......ENVY!

What was I envious of? 

Here is a little background to let you in on why I had/have a bit of a struggle with this.

I became a Medical Assistant right out of high school and loved it.  I worked part time as I was raising my kids but found that to be a bit much and then quit.  I had a desire to someday become a nurse.  Through the years I have taken classes to slowly get me to that goal.  Since my kids are now older I have had the opportunity to go back to school and finish the needed classes to apply to nursing school.  In August of 2008 I did just that.  By the summer of 2009 I had all the classes I needed and pretty much everything except a physical done ready to apply in Sept. 2009.  When I started classes in 2008 I gave it all to God and asked that he would let me know if I was doing this because I needed something to do or was it still a passion.  During that time while taking classes I went back and forth on whether or not this was still really a passion or was it becoming more of a pride thing.  Did I just want to have an RN behind my name and be able to tell others I was a nurse.  With the help of a godly woman, my mother-in-law, I was able to see that my "confusion" at the time was really a lack of peace about the whole thing.  I then spent some time in fervent prayer about the situation and realized that it was NOT the right time for me to apply to nursing school.  WOW, did I have peace after that.  Once I let it go I felt like a load had been lifted off my shoulder's.

I started applying to hospitals for Care Assistant or CNA positions because I really have a passion for health care and knew that I could use that in some way.  My Medical Assistant background would help but I was too far removed to go back into working as a Medical Assistant.

OK, now to the ENVY of last week.  I am a Care Assistant at a Children's Hospital, the same one I volunteer at.  During orientation I was with everyone that was a new hire--even nurses.  I would see the new nurses and where they were going to be working in the hospital and think 'I could do that' or 'I wish I was getting ready to do that'.  Then when we split off and I was with the new hire Care Assistants we would be talking and they were all planning on going on to nursing school.  Most were not ready to apply anytime soon but I could still apply by this Sept. if I wanted. 

I did not like when these feelings would come over me and I knew they were NOT from God.  I am so excited about the position I am going in to.  Right now I am at peace about where I am in life and don't have a desire to move on to become an RN.  I have prayed and asked God to REALLY let me know without a doubt, make it VERY clear to me if I am to pursue nursing school.

Last summer when I was praying for God to help me with peace this is the verse he gave me to hold on to.  I saw then how it helped in many ways but this past week I could see how it helped in BIG ways.

"A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones." Proverbs 14:30

So there you go, just a peek into my heart on a struggle I had last week and still deal with and most likely will to some extent but I am praying God would cont. to lead me on this journey of life.  As long as I am walking with Him daily and in His will for my life I will be at peace.

Stepping Out

I am stepping out of my comfort zone, heading into a new phase in my life.  In one week I will be starting a new job.  I am very excited but also a bit scared.  I have not really worked outside my home in over 15 years.  I have been raising my kids which I so much have enjoyed but they are now grown and it is time for me to do something else with my life.  For a few years now I have been trying to "figure out" mostly on my own what I am suppose to do now that I have a lot of time on my hands.  I am too young to just "retire".  Really I am way too young!!

I have taken classes to further my education in the thoughts that I would go to nursing school.  I have everything I need but just don't have a peace about going.  I am not sure why but I have prayed about it so much and it always comes back to "that is not where you are suppose to be".  So last summer I started applying at hospitals for Care Assistant (CNA) positions.  I was offered a job last Aug. but it did not feel right.  I left the interview (the first profession interview I had been on in a long time) feeling about 50/50 on wanting the job.  Over the weekend I ended up knowing that I did NOT want the job and prayed that they would not even offer me the job.  I was not sure why but again I did NOT have a peace about it.  They did call a week after the interview and offered me the job.  I thanked them and then turned them down.  At the time it all felt right but for me given time I will second guess myself--something I tend to do to myself.  I did see through the fall and winter that it was best that I didn't have the job.  I was still applying for jobs in hospitals off & on over the months.  I really wanted to work at the Children's hospital that I volunteer at but those Care Assistant jobs are very hard to get.  Plus with me being out of the work force for so long I knew it was a long shot but I kept on applying.

A few months ago I really was having a rough time and I could just feel God pulling me closer to him.  I started spending more time in the Word and in prayer.  I started to journal both my thoughts and prayers.  I had also started my worry box that I have blogged on earlier.  I was trusting God with my future.  I got to where I just felt at complete peace about whatever God had for me was going to be just right.  If I was to remain a housewife then I was happy and content to do that.  I knew that God would be able to use me & the gifts He has given me in so many different areas as long as I was walking in His will.

Casting Crowns has a song that has really helped me during this time called Voice of Truth.  Here is just a bit of the song:

Oh what I would do to have

The kind of faith it takes

To climb out of this boat I'm in

Onto the crashing waves

To step out of my comfort zone

Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is

And He's holding out His hand

But the waves are calling out my name

And they laugh at me

Reminding me of all the times

I've tried before and failed

The waves they keep on telling me

Time and time again "Boy, you'll never win!"

"You'll never win!"

But the voice of truth tells me a different story

The voice of truth says, "Do no be afraid!"

The voice of truth says, "This is for my glory"

Out of all the voices calling out to me

I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

That is just a bit of the song but it really hit home for me.  I had (still have) that inner voice that tells me I can't do this or that.  That is the lies.  I also have the truth that has been coming through and it is telling me to not be afraid.  God's Word is the Truth that is helping me and guiding me.

As I have looked back over my journal and all the verses God has given me to guide me and to show me what He wants for my life it has been so reassuring.  I wish I could list them all here but that would be a lot.  I will share a few:

"I will praise the LORD, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me."  Psalm 16:7

"In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps."  Proverbs 16:9

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11

"Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD."  Psalm 27:14

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."  Isaiah 41:10

"I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me."  Philippians 4:13

OK that is just a very small sample of the verses I have in my journal.  These plus many others have helped me in my journey over the last few months.  They still help me everyday.  I am depending on God moment by moment in my life.

So as I step out of the boat into the unknown waters of a new and exciting job I am reaching for the hand of Jesus to hold me up so I do not sink.

I feel that God has blessed me with this job and He will give me what I need to do it and to move forward in my life and not be "stuck" which would be the easier thing to do, at least for me.

So next Monday, June 21st I will start my hospital orientation for a Care Assistant position at the Children's Hospital that I now volunteer for.  WOW!!  I walked away from that interview back in April wanting the job but just trusting that if God wanted me there then it would all work out and if not I was content to keep trusting.  I was offered the job on May 5th.  I had to wait until June to start which was OK since so much has happened in that time and it has come up really fast.

It is just amazing to see what happens when I just let go and let God take control in my life.  To just let Him direct my path.  I am scared about starting this new job but not because I don't think I can do the job but because it is all new for me again.  Working long hours and being away from home.  This is where I just have to trust and depend on God at ALL times.

So I just keep praying for God's direction and that He will use me in this position.  I need prayer from others to help me not get overwhelmed with fear as the day is fast approaching.

Trust in God and His Truth!!!  Obey His commands!!! 

What an AWESOME GOD!!! 

Being Prepared

I really didn't know how to title this entry but wanted to share a recent experience.  I have been asking God to use me and the gifts that He has given me.  I completely surrendered to His will for my life.  With time on my hands I have been looking for ways to serve (serving is one of my gifts). 

I have been volunteering at a Children's hospital for a couple years and love it but felt like there was more for me.  I am not always patient waiting for God, this is something he is teaching me.  I recently excepted a job but was told I would not be able to start until the middle of June.  OK, I thought this will give me time to prepare for long work days since I have been mostly on "my" schedule for years, now I need to be prepared for a work schedule. 

This past week is where I feel God has really grown me and showed me WHY I had to wait to start this job and a lot of other things.  God has blessed me with the gifts of mercy, serving and encouragement.  I am not always good at following through with them but when I do I am blessed and know I am in His will.  So taking care of others comes easy for me (most of the time--I can be lazy about it).

My mom had been taking care of her oldest brother and he had been pretty sick for some time.  This past week it was evident that my uncle was not going to be around much longer.  I had been praying for him and my mom during this time.  I was on a walk with my husband Tues evening when we were talking about the situation.  My uncle was at a hospital close to me so why was I not going to visit.  I had not grown up with this uncle and he had upset me with the way he had treated my mom so I did kind of "step aside".  While talking with my husband I told him I wanted to be there FOR my mom and to let my uncle know that I loved him.  My husband knew that if I didn't follow my heart, which we both knew it was a prompting from God, that I would regret it.

The next day I go to visit my uncle and planned for a very short visit and again thought this was more to support my mom.  I ended up spending more time there and felt like that was where I needed to be. 

God prepared me and my heart for this time, I have no doubt about that.  I so much loved being there, talking with my uncle, helping him in any way I could and just doing what I know how to do.  He called me his favorite nurse.  No, I am not a nurse, I have a medical background but not a nursing degree.  Taking care of him was easy for me.  I had prayed for his salvation and on Wed. one of the pastors from my church came and talked with my uncle and he prayed and received Christ.  This brought us all a lot of joy.  We would talk about this off and on.  I could see the peace in his eyes.  My uncle went to be with the Lord on Friday 5/21 in the afternoon.  I held his hand as he passed from this life into the arms of Jesus. 

I got up this morning to have my quiet time and one of the devotionals I am using right now was so fitting.  I would have done this yest. but was at the hospital as we had spent the night Thurs. night when he took a turn for the worse.  The book is Praying for Purpose for Women by Katie Brazelton and is a 60 day devotional.  This is what I read this morning:  "Do you understand that he (God) delights in giving you tasks he designed you to love?".  After I read that I sat for awhile just thinking about how God used me & my gifts over the last few days and I was just in awe of the wonderful, mighty God that I serve.  He is so much bigger than my feeble mind can even comprehend. 

I realized that had I been able to start my job earlier I would have started it on the 20th--the day before my uncle passed and I would not have been able to be there and allow God to use me and I would have missed this blessing.  WOW!!!  I thought of how on Thurs I had gotten really tired and had a headache after lunch so I went home to take a nap.  I got a call just after 9 pm that he was not doing well and I headed to the hospital.  I was not tired, I had no headache.  God had prepared me for a long night.  WOW!!!  I had no worries about my family because I knew they were all doing fine and could take care of things at home.  I was right where I was suppose to be at the time.  WOW!!!

I guess I just wanted to try and share just a bit of what I am feeling and how God has been using me.  Words cannot even begin to express how I feel right now and how blessed I feel.  I am just so thankful that I serve a loving God.  I am so NOT perfect, I have so many flaws but God sees me as a clean, pure child of HIS that is willing to be used.  As Samuel said in 1 Samuel 3:10 "Speak, for your servant is listening.".  That is me, not that I always listen but I want to because when I do great things happen.  When I don't.........

So I start my weekend with sadness at the loss of my uncle and joy with how God has used me and the joy in my heart of what an AWESOME GOD WE SERVE!!

Fasting from Worry

About 2 months ago I found an article in the February addition of Journey which is a devotional for women.  The title is The Fast That Changed My Life by Cindi Wood.  In this devotional she tells how she "fasted from worry" and here I am going to tell you how I used her wisdom and ideas to do my own worry fast.

If you are like me you worry about everything:  kids, marriage, money, health, family, friends.....the list could go on and on, at least for me.  What has worrying done for me--NOTHING!!  It keeps me stuck and unable to move forward into a happy, joy-filled life.  In Matthew 6:27 it says "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" (NIV).  So there is no benefit to worry.  Also in Matthew 6:34 it says "Therefore don't worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own".  Well that is so true.  I worry about what is going to happen tomorrow when I have enough to deal with today.  This is not good.

So on March 19th, 2010 I started my "Fasting from Worry" Box

I decided to do this one week at a time.  So I sat down, wrote out one worry per little piece of paper, prayed over it and then just gave it to God.  I then put it in my box and it was no longer mine to worry about.

I placed my box on my dresser so that I would be reminded to NOT worry about things.  I have kept a journal and updated each week.  I will say the first week was rough.  I had a spiritual attack and it was NOT fun.  I even thought of giving up but was NOT going to let Satan win in this.  So I went on and have been doing this almost every week (now to every 2 weeks) since then and I have been blessed more than I could even imagine. 

I can't say that I don't worry, I do, I just find that when I start to worry about something I remind myself about my box and that I am to give all my worries to God and I am able to do that--most of the time.  I am not perfect, it is not always easy.  God has really grown me and taught me a lot about myself since I have been doing this.  I find that even things that are not in my box that pop up as a worry I am able to stop and give them over to God.

If you would like more information about this please let me know.  I would love to share.

This weeks (2 weeks) box

It is just awesome to see how God works when we place our worries in His hands!!  Free's me to not have to worry about things but I am able to move forward in life with a peace knowing God is in control.

It is ALL good!!

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."  1 Peter 5:7