I must confess...

...I just posted on the words we speak and I have to say that although I work hard to watch what I say to others I am not so quick to think before I speak to my husband.  The one person I love the most in the world (well besides my kids).  I choose to love him and he chooses to love me.

Recently I have been struggling with stress which is not new to me but it has been at a higher level and affecting my life and my marriage.  I can be nice to everyone else but I tend to take out my frustrations on my husband.  This is not right nor is it fair to him.

My devotions recently have been exactly what I need at this time in my life--huh??  I am reminded that God knows my future, knows my schedule and knows my struggles.  He is already there so I don't need to keep stressing over these things.  Why can't I get that through my thick head.  I guess that is part of being a strong-willed, hard-headed, type A personality. 

Sometimes I wish God would just flash a neon sign in front of me telling me what to do instead of me having to WAIT.  I can be very impatient at times.  I know that at times He does answer so clearly and other times not so much.  Sometimes we have to walk through the muck and mire of trials, stressful situations & things we don't want to do to get to a better place.  NOT FUN!!

I know that God has plans for me.  I am blessed with so much and have nothing to complain about.  I just fine things to complain about--I am working on that also. 

So during this time of stress & struggling I keep praying, learning, growing and reminding myself to take care of myself and control my tongue. 

One day it will all be clear to me.  One day I won't have the stress and struggles of life.  One day life will be perfect and that day will be when I meet Jesus face-to-face.  Until then I will cont. to rely on the TRUTH of God's Word.  Trust Him to see me through these difficult times.  And wait patiently on my Lord.

"Be still in the presence of the Lord,and wait patiently for him to act."  Psalm 37:7 

"For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.  And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.  And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."  Romans 8:24-26 

I place my hope in God!!



Let's Talk

I have been wanting to do this for a long time but have had other things come up or just didn't take the time to sit down and get it all out. 

I have been reminded over and over that the words we speak matter.  As I researched verses for this months ago I came up with so many that I am sure I would never be able to get to all of them.  So obviously if God thinks what we say is so important that it is clear in so much of the Bible then I think it is very important that WE take what we say to others very seriously.

"Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing."  Proverbs 12:18

I think that is pretty clear.  As I sit here I think of all the times I was "reckless" with my words.  OUCH!!  I don't want to be that way and I try not to but I am guilty of spitting out things that hurt others.

When I get angry I am not always careful about what I say--OUCH!!

"My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." 

 James 1:19-20

"Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips."  Psalm 141:3

"He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin." Proverbs 13:3

This is just a start.  I challenge you to take some time and look up all the verses in your Bible that talk about the words we speak and how they matter.  Be prepared to spend some quality time in the Word.  I won't even go into all the verses on gossip, taming the tongue, and complaining.  Maybe some other time.

I do know that I want to be the woman that really works to make sure that what I say to others (and to myself because that matters also--that is another blog) is for building them up not tearing them down.

"When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness."  Proverbs 31:26 (NLT)

"Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them."  Ephesians 4:29 (NLT)

That is the woman I want to be!!

Also, remember what you think and what is in your heart comes out in your words.  We don't just speak words that have not at least crossed our minds at some point or live in our hearts.  Like angry, hurtful words towards someone that we have anger towards in our hearts.

"The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks."  Luke 6:45

So as I go about my day-to-day activities I will continue to think on positive things, keep my heart & mind pure and think about what I will say before I say it.  Will I always get it right--NOPE but I thank God that He forgives me when I mess up.  I hope and pray that when I mess up that the person I have hurt will also forgive me (and let me know if I have hurt them and didn't know I did).

That is the short version of what I had planned on (I bet you are happy about that--hehe).  To me these are powerful passages and speak volumes.  Words of Truth I NEED to hear!!

Just had to add this.  Gotta love Maxine!

Falling down...

...is not FUN!!  So here's the story.  Yesterday I was working and it was going fine when I went to get a room ready for a kiddo coming from surgery.  There had been another kid in there earlier and the cleaning crew had come in and got the room all nice and clean.  This is all good.  I got ALL the stuff I needed for the kiddo coming in and as I took a few steps inside the room...WAMMMM I was on the ground BUT the linens were in my left hand up in the air NOT touching the floor (this is very important).  I hit hard and it hurt.  My right hand and wrist started bruising right away.  I had help immediately but I was afraid they would fall so told them to be careful.  Usually the cleaning crew will leave a sign outside the room to let us know the floor is still wet.  There was NO sign.  I was more embarrassed than anything at the time except my hand hurt.  I had to go to occupational health (sorry but that was a joke--"can you bend your elbow?"--YES, "can you bend your wrist?"--YES, "do you need to see a doctor?"--NO--that was it).  So back to work I went and I had people asking the rest of the day if I was OK and I was but I knew I hit that floor hard and I knew I would be sore once I slowed down.

So I have had a lot of ibuprofen to help and my wonderful husband got me some before I got out of bed this morning since I was already feeling the aches from the fall.  As my day has gone on I have felt the aches and pains of that fall but I am fine.  I have bruises that I am thinking "how did I get that one from the fall" but who knows. 

Thankfully I have today off and the weekend for that matter--WOOHOO!!  I have a date planned with my hubby but a few of the things we thought about (bowling was one) we are not going to do since I fell.  Don't want to make anything worse.  We can still have FUN!!

I haven't been on much or posting things I want because 1) I have been busy, 2) I have been really stressed out lately & 3) been feeling a bit down but thankfully feeling a bit better today.  I am sure the "down" moods have been from the stress and I am working on that. 

Just read in my devotion this morning on having a "full" schedule, even if it is filled with "good" things is NOT good.  There is a season for everything and God does not want us filling our schedules to the point we don't have time for Him, family, friends & ourselves.  Even if those things are things that we know we are doing to serve God.  Like I said a season for everything and we need to make sure to check in and ask God what He wants us to be doing NOT just doing.  Maybe this is NOT the right time to take on teaching Sunday school or volunteering with the elderly.

As I read it reminded me of how I had been asking God about balancing work and home and then a week later He took away my volunteering.  My volunteering was a good thing and I really loved doing it.  I miss it but that season is over and it is time to move on and that is what I am doing.  That freed me up to make more time for my family.  I think God knew I wouldn't just give it up easily so He just took it.

I am still working towards that balance.  Some days are much better than others.  It is only the middle of Sept. and I am already stressing about the holidays.  Why, you ask?  I am a planner and the one thing about my job is I don't know what I am working until about 12 days before the next 4 week schedule comes out.  Very hard to plan.  Also I know I will be working 2 major holidays this year and my husband will be off.  My husband has reminded me that maybe I am the one that needs to be there on those days.  God uses me at work so much and I feel so blessed to be there.  I also know that God already knows my schedule and so I need not worry about it. 

I thought of changing my "worry" box to a "stress & worry" box since I feel so much stress at times.

Well I started this with my falling down story and then rambled on about other things.  That is me and how my life is...what can I say.

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend and I hope to be back with more next week!!

What are YOU doing??

I just thought this was too funny!!  I am sitting at MY computer when I should be doing other things.  Just checking to see if anyone is with me. 

PLUS just wanted to make you smile (it makes me laugh looking at it).

Have a GREAT day!!

Last Saturday

OK, not the greatest title but that is what I am going to talk about for just a minute here.  I worked last Sat. (and Monday on this 3 day weekend) and my day started off on the wrong foot, so to speak.  I didn't sleep well, had a nightmare that I woke crying in and when I was getting ready I read an email that made me cry.  Obviously something was "off" in me.  My mood was not the best and I really didn't want to go to work.  Not because I don't like my job but for other reasons.  I wanted to be home with my husband on this nice weekend.  I have felt "less" at work because I am not a nurse (this is a me issue that I have to work on).  So on my way I went with the wrong attitude to start my day.  I prayed on the way there that God would help me and change my attitude.

The day was busy and at times a bit crazy but it was going and I was enjoying taking care of others I just had that nagging negative thought going through my head that I am not good enough because I am not a nurse.  This of course is a LIE and I know it but that didn't stop my mind from going back to it over and over.

There is a wonderful young lady that is also a care assistant but in nursing school and will soon be a nurse but she has been in my shoes and is so easy to talk to.  I just adore her and she has been a big emotional support for me in my job.  She was working on Sat. and so I asked if we could talk a minute and we did and she encouraged me but it was still hard.  I do get nurses encouraging me to go on to nursing school and that doesn't help either.

OK, so I am rambling let me get to my point...

After I had eaten my lunch I had time so I called my husband and he was busy doing yard work and having a good day--without me--this made me sad but I was happy his day was going well.  I then get off the phone and realize I have 15 minutes left for my lunch break and I was all alone.  So I had me a little conversation with God.  This went on for the rest of my break and then I went on back to work.  Was my mood better?  No, not really but I was working on it. 

A bit later I was feeding a boy that could do nothing for himself.  He has to totally rely on someone else for his survival.  This was the 3rd time that day I was feeding him and when I do I talk to him even though I am not sure he hears me.  I said a little prayer for him and then out of the blue I could just feel God saying to me "whatever you do for the least of these you do for me".  OK God I get it.  You put me here.  You took away my desire to go on to nursing school.  I love what I do there--most of the time.  I am there to serve these kids, their families and the nurses.  I am usually great with that but it has recently been bothering me.  I was "feeling" less important because I am not a nurse.  I look at everyone as important no matter their education level or job or anything.  Why can't I look at myself that way.  God does.

I think of all the people in the Bible God called to serve and most of them were "less" in the eyes of society at that time.  God did GREAT things through these people.  As long as we are walking in God's will and want to be used it doesn't matter where He puts us it just matters that we go and do in Jesus name. 

I am still working on all this.  I don't want to go to nursing school, I don't believe that is where God wants me.  I have no peace about it.  So I have to keep praying God will work this out in my heart and I will remember that I am working for God and not man.

Here is the passage that I got once I got home and looked up what I felt God was telling me.

"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory.  All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats.  He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.  For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink?  When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'"

Matthew 25:31-40

Also as I worked on my thoughts about myself and my position at work this verse came to mind.

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."  Col. 3:23-24

I just have to remember that I am working for God, NOT man.  This really helped me when I was back on Monday--Labor Day.  That day went better for me. 

So, no pictures in this post which is odd for me but I really wanted to share my heart and how God is working even when I am being a big baby about life.  This too shall pass...