Attitude Adjustment

I don't know why I have a great day then the next I have my to-do list ready and I wake feeling...well...blah.  Instead of choosing to change my attitude I just let the negative flow until I am just grumpy.  This is not fun for anyone and not who I want to be.

I want to blame it on something; the weather, stress, PMS, my husband, anything other than me.  Sure some of these things can affect ones attitude but blaming anything will only lead to being more grumpy and tends to make things worse than better.  So just say NO to blaming! 

When I get like this I start comparing myself to everyone.  I wish ________(fill in the blank).  There are so many things that can go into that blank.  I also get really down on myself.  It is like a spiral of negativity spinning out of control. 

I ask myself 'what am I doing wrong?' like there is some magical answer to that.  Truth is I know what I am doing and that is choosing to let the negative emotions and feelings take over instead of pushing them back and choosing to look at the positive side of life.

When I am at work I can look at someone that is being negative and smile and encourage them to think positive that things will turn out the way it is suppose to.  I can encourage others to look on the bright side and think positive about their situation and even help them see the positive.  They still have to choose to see the positive but it is easy for me to help them.

A few months back a started reading a book called
The 4:8 Principle by Tommy Newberry.

It is a small book filled with so much good information on how to live a joy-filled life.  I should be finished with it but I get lazy or busy and don't just sit and read.  The book is based on the verse Philippians 4:8.  He uses this verse plus many others to help guide us to change the way we think to a more positive, joy-filled way.  He also has a website http://www.the48principle.com/ which has some really good info in there and I think the first 2 chapters of the book.

Personally I have found this book very helpful when I am reading it which I have not been since I started my job.  So my plan is to get back into reading this book.  I would highly recommend it for anyone wanting to be more positive, joy-filled and learn how to think the way God wants us to think using Philippians 4:8.

So now I am going to CHOOSE to work on my attitude.  I want to have the attitude of Christ,

"Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus" Philippians 2:5. 

I want to have a joy-filled, positive attitude.  I want my positive attitude to rub off on others.

I know that when I am grumpy it does affect others around me and that is NOT what I want or what God wants from me.

Lunch with friends

I just have to say that yesterday I had lunch (well dinner for me) with one of my very close friends and her mom, whom I also call my friend.  I love my friend & her mom very much.  They are both very special to me.  We have known each other for many, many years and have been through some ups and downs together.

I want to just say a little about my friends mom.  This lady is one of the most positive people I know.  She has health issues but never complains.  She smile's all the time and is such a joy to be around.

I asked her how she was and she said she was great, no complaints...WOW!!  OK, I have known her long enough that I knew I would get that answer but still today I can't stop thinking how having such a positive outlook on life affects others.  One can't help but smile as soon as you meet this wonderful lady.  She wants to know all about you and how you are doing.  She truly is a blessing to me and to others that know her.  She is a good example for me to follow as I work on being a more positive person (it is easy for me to complain).

What a difference a day makes

Sometimes we look at things the wrong way.  Get twisted up in how we see life going on around us.  I recently got myself looking "upside down" I guess you could say. 

Even as I was seeking God daily and a lot there was a part of me that was trying to continue to do things in my own strength.

I am still working to stay afloat during this major change in my life but I have learned more about myself and the awesome power of God in all this. 

After a lot of stressing over the last week I went to bed last night at peace about my future.  I woke with more joy in my heart.  I am still tired, still struggling with some things and I am sure my stress is just below the surface ready to emerge at any time.

I am working to take one day at a time and hang on knowing God is in control and will help me in everything I do.  Can you tell I like pictures & animals? 

Just want to share one more thing.  Something I read in my Bible reading this morning--it really seemed to fit where I am at right now.  Funny how that happens.

"Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion.  For the LORD is a God of justice.  Blessed are all who wait for him! 

 O people of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. How gracious he will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you.  Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them.  Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it.""  Isaiah 30:18-21

Call out to God for help and wait.  

He will answer and give you help!!

Struggling

I am struggling.  I lost 4 lbs when I was sick just over a month ago and I can't afford to lose weight.  I have tried to gain it back but with the busy days and trying to adjust to working again it just isn't happening.  Plus add the stress that I put on myself or allow myself to take on and that doesn't help.  I am not a stress eater, I am the opposite of that.  Eating is difficult when I am stressed.

I took a day off this week to try and feel better but it is not working.  I knew that stepping outside my comfort zone would be uncomfortable but this is way beyond that.  I could take uncomfortable but this is very painful and very unpleasant.  I think I am doing well then realize I am not.  The stress is killing me and it is not the job itself but me and the pressure I put on myself.  They are working with me to make sure I take care of myself and then I feel weak, like I can't do what everyone else can do.  I just don't understand and I wish I did. 

Adjustment

That is where I am at right now.  Learning to adjust to being a working woman.  I love my job but I don't always like getting up so early.  I don't like being tired ALL the time and crying more than usual.  I know that this too shall pass but I am not the most patient person when it comes to things like this. 

I want to know everything NOW and I know that is not going to happen.  I expect way more out of myself than anyone else.  I have put so much pressure on myself that it is making me sick and I have to stop doing that.


I want to have energy and to feel great NOW and not 3, 6 or even 12 months from now...PATIENCE!

I want to not cry at every little thing all the time now...PATIENCE!

Even as I am typing this out something jumps right out at me and it is the "I WANT" part.  I sound like a 2 yr old and forgetting what does God want from me.  What does God want me to do. 

God wants me to trust HIM:

"Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."  Proverbs 3:5-6

"You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you"  Isaiah 26:3

"But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him."  Jeremiah 17:7

God wants me to put my strength in HIM:

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble"  Psalm 46:1

"I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength"  Philippians 4:13

God wants me to know that He would not give me something He was not going to equip me to handle.  When I want to obey but it just seems to hard.

"Now what I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach."  Deut. 30:11

So as I go about another day I just need to remember that I am in this with God because He said He would never leave me nor forsake me.  This is a Truth I plan to hold on to.

I will close with some great verses that I just love and was reading this morning.

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."  Philippians 4:4-8

Today I will chose to Rejoice in the Lord!!

July 4th....

...is Independence Day & the day I gave birth to my first child.  So as everyone has picnics & lights up the skies with fireworks I think back to the day my beautiful baby girl was born.  I am so thankful for our freedom in the USA and I am proud to be an American but the 4th of July will ALWAYS be my oldest baby's birthday.  I am very BLESSED & THANKFUL God allowed me to be her mom.

Life as I know it....

I am now a working woman and life as I knew it is different than what I have known for so long.  Of course life changes all the time.  This is a good...NO a GREAT change for me, just an adjustment and not just for me but also for my husband.  He is my biggest cheerleader but still having to adjust to a tired wife & a working wife.  I don't think it has been much of an adjustment for the kids, maybe a little but they are older and doing their own thing anyway. 

This is how I feel when I am home:

I am sure I will get used to all this soon and will not be so tired when I am home.  I did feel a bit overwhelmed on Thurs. after working Tues & Wed knowing I was working Friday.  I just felt like I had a lot to do and not enough time to get it all done in.  How did I take care of everything when I worked before?  At that time I had 2 small kids BUT I was younger and didn't know as much about life as I do now.  Plus I wasn't away from home for 14 hours on the days I worked.  Right now I drive to work watching the sunrise & home watching the sunset--pretty cool but I know that will change with the seasons.

I do know that I am absolutely LOVING my job.  I know I am right where God wants me at this time in my life.  I find I am so tired at home but I have the energy I need for those long days.  I appreciate all the prayers from family & friends that are praying for me--they are helping.  I see God's hand in everything I am doing and how He has been working in & through me in this job.  I feel so blessed I don't even have words for how I feel.

On Thurs, my day off, I asked my husband if I could just be a lazy housewife.  Of course that is not what I want but I was feeling so tired and overwhelmed.  I am over that...at least for today.

As I was preparing for my week I was cutting strawberries to take for a snack and it reminded me of when my kids were younger and cutting up LOTS of fruit for them and standing at the sink for a long time to cut all kinds of fruit to have it all eaten in a very short time.  Four kids can go through fruit FAST.  I usually made 2-3 bowls and made them eat it over 2-3 days instead of all at once.  Anyway, as I was standing there cutting the strawberries I thought of that and I was a little sad, I was missing having young ones around but I know that phase of my life has passed and one day I hope to be cutting strawberries for my grandkids.  It is funny how ones perspective on an event from years ago can be so different.  Back then I am sure I was dealing with impatient kids and a list of things to get done while cutting all that fruit but now all I remember is how much I loved doing that for my kids.  I don't think about any of the "stresses" that may have been surrounding me at that time in my life.  Interesting!!

OK, a little off the subject but that is how my brain works--haha.  I have been working on a balance to make sure I put God as my first priority of everyday.  I am getting up and have my spot where I sit and have a little prayer then do my devotion & the Bible reading to go with that.  I then listen to worship music as I get ready, then on my drive to work I use that as my prayer time.  So far this is working out very well for me.  I feel that God has prepared me well for this job and he will cont. to give me what I need to cont. to do this work for him.  I see it more as a ministry for God to use me than a job.  I pray God will use me to serve everyone I work with.

One verse that I came across about a week ago has been a BIG help for me is Psalm 37:5 (this is the NLT version).  I made a card up to carry with me and here is what it looks like:

I pray this everyday.  I commit ALL I do to the Lord, Trust him & ask for his help knowing he will help me in all I do. 

How reassuring!!

(I am not sure why I used this picture but I thought it cute even though the cat is after the little birdies).