Reflecting...

I can't believe 2011 is almost over and a new year will begin.  Boy does time fly.  I don't know about you but this time of year I tend to reflect back on the year and think about the new year.  It has been one crazy year for me.

I started the year with 2 jobs, one I was about to quit and one I was getting ready to start.  I started the one and worked my last day at the other the same week...that was crazy.

Then on Feb. 13th I felt the call to go to Haiti with a team from my church.  I did fight this for a week before I agreed to go.  All that is in an earlier post.  So I had 5 weeks to prepare to go on my very first missions trip.

Those 5 weeks were insane.  All the prep, meetings, shopping for things I needed.  I only had to get 2 shots since working in health care I am up to date on all the ones needed around here.  Doctor visit for meds to take.  Wow, so much to do in such a short time.  Plus my fear of flying (again in an earlier post).  I also quit my job in those 5 weeks. 

They went fast with all that was going on but it was so worth it to go to Haiti.  That was so amazing and I thank God for sending me and allowing me that experience.

In July I started a new job that seems to be a much better fit and that is where I am now.  I am part time but I seem to stay pretty busy.

So it has been a busy year for me.  Add in all my family stuff and that just makes it even more crazy.

In thinking about this past year and the new year to come I thought to myself 'why do we do this?', meaning reflect at the end of a year and make new goals at the beginning.  Maybe it is easier.  Something people just do.  I don't know for sure but I do it and I know others do as well.  I do believe though that we should take time to reflect and remember things all throughout the year and be OK with setting new goals if needed because everyday is a new day and a new beginning.

I am setting some goals for 2012 and a lot of them will be the same as before.  I am a work in progress.  I am going to work on taking one day at a time and enjoy life.  I don't want to get myself worked up because I did not meet a goal but be able to start new every day and just work to meet that days goals. 

Hope you all have had a great 2011 and look forward to a wonderful 2012!!

Bring on 2012 because I am ready!! 

Home from Haiti

I am home from Haiti and already miss being there.  It is good to be home and especially be with my husband but the time in Haiti was amazing.  I did well flying...most of the time.  I had a great team and they were all a big help to make sure I had a window seat and that someone from the team was next to me.  I was thankful to God for putting a remarkable team together and so very thankful that He chose me to be a part of that team.

There were 8 of us from our church and we went out in 2 teams.  One went to work on helping the Haitians build houses and the other (which I was with) went out to be with the kids and do VBS stuff with them.

We rode in what was called a Tap-Tap.  A truck with benches in the back.  Our driver was awesome with all the traffic.

This one is loaded with our stuff for the day.  We then added about 6 people--it got crowded but it was fun.

The first day we were near the guys building but we were at a tent church and had over 100 kids--it was so much fun.  It was very hot in that tent but loving those kids was so very easy.  Some tried to teach me Creole which is their language.  I have a hard enough time with English so this was more laughing than anything.  I really enjoyed it.

The electricity was spotty and it was hard to regulate the temp. at night so the first night us 3 ladies froze.  We shared a really nice room.  I think we all felt a bit spoiled where we were.  Having someone cook for us all week was wonderful.  The food was great but I didn't always know what I was eating.  On Monday I ate a bit too much and ended up sick during the night.  This was not fun but I still thanked God for getting me through it and for sending me to Haiti.  I had to stay back as my team headed out on Tues. and that was hard but I had to get my energy back and rest up.  With no TV or Internet it was a great time of resting and prayer.  I spent the day with God and that is something I don't do here.  I have many distractions so it is easy to do other things but when I was in the compound with no one that spoke English it was a time for me to just be with God.  He has a plan for everything and maybe that was something He wanted from me--to trust, surrender and just spend a day with Him.

The rest of the week went well.  I did lose about 3 lbs from being sick and then cautious about what I ate.  I felt good though.

We spent Wed. going to pick up 2 teachers from one of the orphanages and take them to buy books.  That was a lot of fun.  They were so excited and thankful to have books for the kids.

We all spent Thurs at the orphanage.  The construction team was building new, safe benches for the kids to sit on and we were playing and loving on the kids.  It was so easy to get attacked to them and I look at the pictures and miss them so much.  They loved to wear my hat and sunglasses.  Run their fingers up my veins on my arm and play with my hair.  I had my hair braided many times since it is to fine to hold the braid.  Oh and they loved to take pictures and have their picture taken.  They knew my camera was in my right pocket and would point and say "photo".  So about 50 of my around 400 pictures were taken by kids.

Friday 3 of the construction guys went back to work more on things at the orphanage while the rest of us took a trip up to the mountain.  We went to the Baptist Mission which was really neat to see.  We went to an overlook to see out over Port-au-Prince.  That was just amazing.  Haiti is a beautiful country with beautiful people.

I fell in love with the country and the people. I feel so blessed to have been called to go.

Saturday 3 of the guys helped with some things that needed done around the compound while the rest of us went to a school that had not had a mission team come in before.  We had about 60 kids and did skits and things with them.  It was so much fun and several came forward to receive Christ--that was amazing.  As we were leaving I was hugging one of the young boys and he asked me to pray for him.  He gave me his name and I have been since.  I don't know exactly his need but God does.

We also had a pizza party for the staff that evening.  They didn't have to cook for us and it was so much fun to see how excited there were to have pizza.

Well if you kept up with me this far--thanks.  It is so hard to put into words everything and how so very thankful and blessed I feel to have gotten this opportunity.  I do hope to get a chance to go back and next time take my husband.  I know he would love it.

God really took me way outside my comfort zone but I took comfort in trusting Him.  He stretched me way more than I have ever been stretched.  I look forward to see what He has in store for me next--very exciting!!

Buried alive...

Well, just 6 more days and I will either be on my way or in Haiti.  The last 4 weeks went quick and have been very busy. 

I feel I am sinking or maybe just have tunnel vision.  I am completely focused on this trip.  Packing and re-packing to keep the weight down--not easy when going for a week in a Country like Haiti. 

I over pack and now I am working to cut out things I don't think I will need--again NOT easy.  I have never been there, not sure what all I might need/want.  I don't want to take things that will weigh me down that I don't need but I also don't want to forget something important.

I have to take the time to remember to eat--for me that is bad, I have got to eat.  I have been running almost non-stop for a while now and I am ready to slow down. 

I still have things to prepare for our trip.  Things to do with the kids--FUN!!

I am very thankful to my husband for being so supportive and helpful.  I have been asking my son lots of air travel questions and having him help me weigh my suitcase...over and over and over...in hopes to get it under 45 lbs.  I have asked my mom many questions and have her making me something--that I may not take depending on room.  I have called the airline and asked questions.  I have called the airport and TSA--yep I am that CRAZY!!  I just want to make sure I do everything right.

I hope to have some great stories to tell when I get back and maybe a picture or two to share.  I keep telling myself that the flights are part of this adventure and to just sit back and enjoy them.  Some times it works and other times not so much but I am working to think positive and I know there are many that are praying for me and my team--THANKS AND KEEP UP THE PRAYERS!!

I told my husband that when I get back I am going to sit on our new couch (which has yet to come in) and just watch TV and do NOTHING for a week.  He said that is exactly what he wants me to do.  What a great guy I have!!

OK, back to work since I am done with lunch.  Please keep up those prayers...

Crisis & Craziness

It is so hard to find time to get on here these days.  Life has been absolutely crazy, more so since I am going to Haiti in...well just over 11 days.  The last 3 weeks have been met with so many changes.

My oldest son went to Japan for 2 weeks to visit his girlfriend.  YES, he was there when the earthquake hit.  He just got home this past Sunday.  PLEASE PRAY FOR JAPAN!!  Unfortunately he had to leave his girlfriend there. 

My heart is so broken for the people of Japan.  I heard on the news someone say something about how this was going to affect our economy--WHAT--who cares.  What about the lives of all the people in Japan with no homes, no food, lost loved ones.  Their fears of more earthquakes and tsunami's and the nuclear plant.  Really, come on are we really that spoiled here in the USA??  YEP!!  I admit I am one of the spoiled Americans but my heart does not want to be that way.  I care much more about people than I do money or stuff.

OK, so with my oldest son in Japan my 2 youngest moved out into an apartment together.  My husband and I had an "empty nest" for 12 days--FUN!! 

With my youngest 2 moving out we gave them our family room furniture.  This was planned before I knew about and decided to go to Haiti.  So we are in a rush to get the floor up, carpet in and the furniture here on top of me preparing for this trip.  Still working on all that.

Add in doctor visits and shots, lots of shopping AND working until last week when I quit my job.  Yes, I gave them 2 weeks on the 28th of Feb.  I just have been so overwhelmed with so much going on that I knew it was time to let the job go.  On top of all that our computer is acting up--not sure what is up with that but it is driving me crazy (well crazier).

So the last few weeks have been quite a ride and I would like to get off this crazy bus BUT I still have so much to do in the next 12 days and then to serve in Haiti for a week.  I am still afraid to fly but I know people are praying for me.  I have good days and bed ones.  I have nightmares about flying.  One thing I do know is God did not send me on this trip for nothing so no matter what happens He will be with me and I will be OK.  I am still praying for great flights and no anxiety or panic on the flights.  I don't want the rest of the team having to drag me onto the next flight.

Well that kind of sums up the last few weeks...briefly.  Hope yours is going well and if you are like me you are ready for Spring!!  Now back to getting things done around here...

Obedience is not easy!

For the last year I have been really praying that God would use me and the gifts that He has given me.  With this prayer comes responsibilities that at times are not fun or easy.  Sometimes they can be quite painful...at least in the mind (or my crazy mind).

I thought my job at the Children's Hospital was it.  God did use me there but either I got in my own head or maybe it was a stepping stone to prepare me for something more.  It did stretch me.  I had been a stay-at-home mom for so long and was on MY schedule which was nice but the job made me step outside my comfort zone just a bit.

Recently I have been really asking God what He wants from me.  I really want to serve and grow into the godly woman He wants me to be.  Several things have come to mind, some of which I would not have thought of because they are things I didn't really care to do.  We will see.  I am trusting and that is what I have to do.

Well, on Sunday the 13th towards the end of our church service the pastor announced that they needed more people to go to Haiti.  I have always wanted to do a missions trip but the timing was not right and the call was not there.  This time I told my husband I wish I could go BUT there were so many reasons why I could not.

So I spend a lot of that week battling with God.  The list was long on why I could not or should not go and I told that list to God over & over but my heart kept coming back to going.

As we were heading to church on Sunday I thought to myself if they still needed people I would "check in to it".  Well they did and so I looked at my husband who was on the same page as I was and we went to talk to the pastor.  Yes, they needed more people and had prayed that God would bring the team together that day since the trip is coming up very quickly.  I had to give them a definite answer that day.  YIKES!!

After evening church I went to the team leader and told him YES I want to go.  Once I made that commitment a sense of peace came over me.  I knew I was being obedient to God.

"And this is love:  that we walk in obedience to his commands.  As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love."  2 John 6

I still have the peace knowing I am doing what I am called to do but I have been battling intense fear.  Not so much fear of going to Haiti but flying...yes I have a fear of flying.  Not crashing, although I am sure if the plane were going down I would have fear then.  This is just a fear of being trapped in the tube.  I know crazy...  Every time I even think about flying I get anxious.  I thought maybe I could drive to Florida then just take one plane instead of the 3 there and 3 back.

To be honest I have no idea why God is calling me to do this.  I do have a servant heart and have always wanted to do missions.  I have asked God--why now??  I have soooo many reasons not to go--why now?? 

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord.  "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."  Isaiah 55:8-9

I don't know if I will know completely why now but it doesn't really matter.  If God has called me to go to Haiti then He will equip me with everything I need to do His work while I am there.  He will also give me everything I need to got on those airplanes (maybe some really nice meds to calm me).

I am being stretched much harder than I felt ready for.  I am stepping WAY outside my comfort zone.  Even through all the stress, fear and never ending thoughts of things I need to do and get before I go I still feel at complete peace that I am doing what God has called me to do and that is GO. 

I think of Gideon (and many others in the Bible that said they were not equip but God always gave them what they needed, when they obeyed Him) and how God used him.  Gideon was not the strongest or the bravest and was considered the least of his tribe but he was willing to be used.  So like Gideon I am not the strongest or the bravest but I am willing and I think that is all God wants me to be, simply willing.

In just over 4 weeks I leave with my team from church to go to Haiti.  My heart is already there and I have never been.  Funny how that works.  I leave you with one request--please PRAY!!  Pray for our team, pray for God to work through us, pray for the people of Haiti to be open to hearing the Gospel, pray for me and ALL my fears (esp. flying).  Thank you!