Last Saturday

OK, not the greatest title but that is what I am going to talk about for just a minute here.  I worked last Sat. (and Monday on this 3 day weekend) and my day started off on the wrong foot, so to speak.  I didn't sleep well, had a nightmare that I woke crying in and when I was getting ready I read an email that made me cry.  Obviously something was "off" in me.  My mood was not the best and I really didn't want to go to work.  Not because I don't like my job but for other reasons.  I wanted to be home with my husband on this nice weekend.  I have felt "less" at work because I am not a nurse (this is a me issue that I have to work on).  So on my way I went with the wrong attitude to start my day.  I prayed on the way there that God would help me and change my attitude.

The day was busy and at times a bit crazy but it was going and I was enjoying taking care of others I just had that nagging negative thought going through my head that I am not good enough because I am not a nurse.  This of course is a LIE and I know it but that didn't stop my mind from going back to it over and over.

There is a wonderful young lady that is also a care assistant but in nursing school and will soon be a nurse but she has been in my shoes and is so easy to talk to.  I just adore her and she has been a big emotional support for me in my job.  She was working on Sat. and so I asked if we could talk a minute and we did and she encouraged me but it was still hard.  I do get nurses encouraging me to go on to nursing school and that doesn't help either.

OK, so I am rambling let me get to my point...

After I had eaten my lunch I had time so I called my husband and he was busy doing yard work and having a good day--without me--this made me sad but I was happy his day was going well.  I then get off the phone and realize I have 15 minutes left for my lunch break and I was all alone.  So I had me a little conversation with God.  This went on for the rest of my break and then I went on back to work.  Was my mood better?  No, not really but I was working on it. 

A bit later I was feeding a boy that could do nothing for himself.  He has to totally rely on someone else for his survival.  This was the 3rd time that day I was feeding him and when I do I talk to him even though I am not sure he hears me.  I said a little prayer for him and then out of the blue I could just feel God saying to me "whatever you do for the least of these you do for me".  OK God I get it.  You put me here.  You took away my desire to go on to nursing school.  I love what I do there--most of the time.  I am there to serve these kids, their families and the nurses.  I am usually great with that but it has recently been bothering me.  I was "feeling" less important because I am not a nurse.  I look at everyone as important no matter their education level or job or anything.  Why can't I look at myself that way.  God does.

I think of all the people in the Bible God called to serve and most of them were "less" in the eyes of society at that time.  God did GREAT things through these people.  As long as we are walking in God's will and want to be used it doesn't matter where He puts us it just matters that we go and do in Jesus name. 

I am still working on all this.  I don't want to go to nursing school, I don't believe that is where God wants me.  I have no peace about it.  So I have to keep praying God will work this out in my heart and I will remember that I am working for God and not man.

Here is the passage that I got once I got home and looked up what I felt God was telling me.

"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory.  All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats.  He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.  For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink?  When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'"

Matthew 25:31-40

Also as I worked on my thoughts about myself and my position at work this verse came to mind.

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."  Col. 3:23-24

I just have to remember that I am working for God, NOT man.  This really helped me when I was back on Monday--Labor Day.  That day went better for me. 

So, no pictures in this post which is odd for me but I really wanted to share my heart and how God is working even when I am being a big baby about life.  This too shall pass...