I found myself complaining on Sat. that I didn't have anything to wear. I do have things to wear, I have a closet full of clothes and feel I have nothing to wear. My husband told me (after I was whining like a 3 year old) that he would take me shopping for some new clothes. Huh, maybe whining can pay off.....
NO, that is not whining that is manipulation which I really was not trying to do but I do know that if I ask my husband for something he will usually say yes. He does spoil me.
One would think that would be the end of it, the whining and complaining that is BUT NO. We did go shopping and before we did I went through my clothes and seen what I had and what I "really" needed to help my wardrobe. On Sunday after church we went shopping and I could have gotten a lot more than I did but I was good and stuck with my list. Now I should be content right....NO! What is wrong with me? I had to ask myself, I tend to over analyze myself and life in general so I had to figure out WHY I was feeling so "OFF" as I put it. I mean I am not normally a positive person, this is work for me but I have been doing so much better lately with that.
I did figure out a few things and plans on how to change them. So with that in place and ready to start a new week I woke Monday morning with a migraine and I was to be at church for VBS a bit after 8. OK this week was NOT starting out well at all. My plan to be more positive and change my attitude was not working. I got through day one of VBS and came home and took a nap which took me out of my schedule. This did not help my mood. Tuesday I woke feeling just as bad, migraine and a bad mood. My poor husband listened to me whine some more and reminded me of how I am NOT to have that kind of negative self talk. He said it very kind and loving which was nice. It was good to talk it out with him. He told me to skip my morning quiet time and get a little more rest--WHAT!!! Not spend my morning time with God, this would mean I failed (I know missing a day is not failure if that were the case I have failed most of my life) but that is what it felt like at first. Then my husband told me that I could do it when I get home from VBS and I could still have some prayer time just not the 'over-the-top make me feel rushed because I am trying to hard to do to much' quiet time. So that is what I did and I went on with getting ready for VBS only to find my migraine was now getting worse to the nausea point. I can handle the pain but do NOT like it when the nausea hits. I made it to church but was then sent home when a replacement came for me. This was good but still had to deal with this bad attitude and the migraine with nausea. It is now Wed. and I still have a bit of a migraine but it is getting better, I hope. I had a great time in VBS this morning and my attitude is much better. I started putting things together and that has helped. One big thing I realized is I am trying to put too much into my morning quiet time. When I do this I end up feeling rushed. It doesn't matter how early I get up to have extra time I seem to always fill it and more. You would think this would be good but it just makes me feel more stressed and rushed for my day. With my job fast approaching (one thing that is likely causing my grumpy attitude, it's a big change) I want to make sure I still get up and have my quiet time but I don't want to be stressed or feel rushed for either my quiet time or getting to my new job. This is something I am working on to get a good balance before I start. I do know that this morning I got up and told myself to just do my devotion and prayer time, I can worship God all day and while I get ready listen to my music. So that is what I did and my day started out so much more relaxed and has been a good day.
So how do we (I am hoping I am not the only person that struggles with this) balance our quiet time with a crazy schedule? Also, how do I keep from falling into the whining and complaining attitude that I did NOT enjoy and neither did my husband. We both missed the more positive, more happy me. It is all about ATTITUDE!!!
Charles Swindoll has a quote I like about attitude and I actually have it posted on my wall. I know I should have read it a few days ago. Here is just a part of it:
"The remarkable thing is that we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you... We are in charge of our Attitudes."
I need to remind myself that.
"You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had."
Philippians 2:5
That is the attitude I want. I know that is the attitude God wants me to have. I know he does not want me feeling rushed & stressed. I know God wants to be first in my life and that is where I want Him. I am working on this.
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