Please see link in post below...

The last couple of months have been a bit of a struggle for me.  Not something I like to admit but sometimes it is good to be a little transparent. 

August and September were just very stressful both with working a new job and working many hours.  One of my coworkers had surgery just after I started and I was working both my job and hers....a lot of stress.  Then of course many other stresses that come with life.  Being tired all the time didn't help nor did allergies.  My co-worker returned the end of Sept...this was good. 

Just a side note here...I bring on my own stress.  I allow it to get to me.  I am not a laid back person that can just go with the flow or let things wait.  This is just one of the things I would love to change about myself.

Then on Sept. 30 on my 5 minute drive to work I find out one of my aunts had died unexpectedly.  So add sadness to all that stress. 

Once things seem to start to settle down my husband and I were able to get away for a few days.  This was a BIG help for both of us.  We had so much fun and the weather was perfect.

Now we are headed into the holidays.  For me I see more stress.  I wish I didn't but I do. 

A friend shared with me the below link and it really hit home to me.  Since the middle of Sept. I have felt...well distant from God and I feel I try and try to get back but feel like I keep failing.  I don't feel I am in the exact place this man was as he wrote that but I can relate to a lot of it.  I encourage you to take just a moment to listen to it.

I won't give up on seeking as I know God will NEVER GIVE UP ON ME!!!

Undo Me Poem

Undo Me Poem

Start Over....

I have read this poem many times before but thought I would share.  I will try and update with a more personal post soon.

"When you’ve trusted God and walked his way
When you’ve felt his hand lead you day by day
But your steps now take you another way …
Start over.


When you’ve made your plans and they’ve gone awry
When you’ve tried your best and there’s no more try
When you’ve failed yourself and you don’t know why …
Start over.


When you’ve told your friends what you plan to do
When you’ve trusted them and they didn’t come through
And you’re all alone and it’s up to you …
Start over.


When you’ve failed your kids and they’re grown and gone
When you’ve done your best but it’s turned out wrong
And now your grandchildren come along …
Start over.


When you’ve prayed to God so you’ll know his will
When you’ve prayed and prayed and you don’t know still …
When you want to stop cause you’ve had your fill …
Start over.


When you think you’re finished and want to quit
When you’ve bottomed out in life’s deepest pit
When you’ve tried and tried to get out of it …
Start over.


When the year has been long and successes few
When December comes and you’re feeling blue
God gives a January just for you …
Start over.


Starting over means “Victories Won”
Starting over means “A Race Well Run”
Starting over means “God’s Will Done”
Don’t just sit there ………… ..
START OVER"
- – - written by Woodrow Kroll of “Back to the Bible”

Sometimes we just need to start over....

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."  Lamentations 3:22-23

No matter what is going on God is there for a fresh start every morning.  Yesterday is done.  Today is new.  It doesn't even have to be morning...God is ready and waiting for us at all times morning, noon & night.  He will never leave us nor forsake us. 

So if you are going through some rough times (I know I am) just remember God is always there and waiting.  Just know it is never to late to start over.  Just stop and talk to God.  Tell Him what is going on.  He knows, He listens, He cares & He is always there.

Hidden Treasures

Recently I was looking for something and came across a card my daughter sent me her 2nd year of college.  I remember when she sent it to me and how much it meant then and reading it the other day I felt the same way.  I won't share the personal details but wanted to just share a bit...


The front of the card

On the inside it says "Nobody nose you like your mom."  

Also inside was a note she had gotten from a woman's retreat she had just attended and wanted to share with me.  It is a Max Lucado quote and it really fit then and still does today.

"You are valuable just because you exist, not because of what you do or what you have done, but simply because you are.  Remember that.  Remember that the next time you are left bobbing in the wake of someone's steamboat ambition.  Remember that the next time some trickster tries to hang a bargain basement price tag on your self-worth...just think about the way Jesus honors you...and smile."

~~ Max Lucado--No Wonder They Call Him Savior

That is so true.  For me and for you.  We are valuable because we exist, God created us as a one of a kind for a purpose...His purpose.  Our value is not based on what we do or what we have done. 

This is something I know I need to remind myself when I find I feel "less" important or "not good enough" in this world.

God created me just as He created you.  We are worthy and loved by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and that is the most important thing to remember.  Our self-worth should be completely based on that and not what others think or say about us.

So today think about God's love for you and smile...I know I will.

In Need of Sleep

WOW!!  Can't believe it has been almost a month since I last blogged.  I have been busy or lazy...let's go with busy, it sounds better.

I started a new job in July and I really love it.  Part-time, close to home, flexible & I am working as a Medical Assistant in Family Practice which I love .  So, Yes, I have been busy adjusting and working. 

I am working to get a balance between home & work but that seems to take some time for me.  Oh well it will happen...all is good.

What is not good is this battle with insomnia that I have been dealing with.  I have had this issue off & on all my life, even as a child.  I know I am weird. 

Sometimes I can't get to sleep.  My brain just won't slow down enough.  I stare at the clock when I should just get up.  I don't have the best sleep habits and that is something I am working on.



Other times I fall a sleep just fine but I wake a lot and I mean a lot, like every half hour.  I just don't feel rested.  I am not getting good sleep or restful sleep to recharge my body.

I have tried everything but I don't stick with a healthy bedtime habit but even when I do it has not worked for me.

I have tried many different medications both prescription and over-the-counter but I don't like the side effects or the "hangover" effect so I try and avoid them.  I will try them when I feel I am about to lose my mind from not sleeping for several days but only if I don't have to get up early for something.  So that cuts out a lot of the nights.  At this point I am ready to knock myself out for a couple days.

Last Sunday night I did not sleep at all.  I did finally fall asleep around 5 am Monday morning but was pretty much awake by 8:30.  I had to get up and get ready for work that afternoon.  I will admit I cried a lot that morning and my poor husband had to hear all about my woes (he is such a blessing and such a big help--I love him so very much.  He is awesome!). 

I did get up around 2 am and did some journaling and reading.  Here is something I have in my journal:

"What's wrong with me?  Why can't I be a better person?  better wife?  a better mother?

With little to poor sleep I (and I think this is with most people) start to really have doubts about myself and my abilities.  I over think things and I get a wrong perspective on how life is and how I am handling it.  Nobody is perfect and I will be the first to admit that I am not. 

As I was reading my devotion this morning I was reminded of God's love for me.  God loves me for me and not what I do.  He does not love me just when I keep my house clean, laundry done, cooking or even serving all the time.  His love is unconditional.  Yes, we are to go and do God's work but His love and grace is not based on our works.  This I am so very thankful for.  I did just sit and thank God for His love for me this morning.  How awesome is that and so wonderful to think about.  Even when I mess up, God is there and He is not going to leave me.  Now I can work to change my perspective.

"What is wrong with me?"  I am a sinner saved by grace.  So there is nothing wrong (except being human).

"Why can't I be a better person?"  I can through my faith in Jesus Christ and my cont. growth in Him.  I am not a bad person.  Reading God's Word and spending time with Him will just help me see that I am exactly the person God created me to be--flaws and all.

"better wife?  a better mother?"  Again growing in my faith and reading God's Word will help me in these areas.  If you ask my husband I think he will tell you I am a good wife--not perfect but perfect for him.  I am not a perfect mother but I am the perfect mother for my kids. 

God blessed me with the most wonderful husband and 4 wonderful children. 

I will close with this.  I am praying for a great night sleep--I need it bad.  I am seeking God to help me keep my eyes on Him so that I don't lose focus on myself and this life He has blessed me with.  And I pull this verse again to help me get through these tough days until I do get some good rest:

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Matthew 11:28-30

Lord, I need rest.  I am so tired and worn-out.  I pray I will sleep well at night.  I ask for more energy during the day and a more vibrant spirit.  Lighten my load so I can have a better balance among my work, my ministry and my home life.  Replenish me, Lord.  As I unwind in spirit and body, please fill me with peace and rest.  Prayer taken from Prayers with Purpose for Women.

It's been a while....

...since I have really posted on here.  So I thought I would maybe do a bit catching up.  This could be VERY boring so WARNING AHEAD!!

I think my last "real" entry might have been when I got back from Haiti in April--where has the time gone.  First, I have to say missions trips do change you.  Once back I went through every emotion over a period of several weeks.  I did re-Americanize (if that is a word) so to speak but still I feel changed.  I did end up dealing with a mild/moderate depression for a bit but thankfully that is over.  Again, I was told this is normal.  One person told me they have been on 5 missions trips and dealt with depression after every one.  It helps to know I am normal (well I am far from normal but that is OK).

Then add in the normal business of life and well we are back to me being crazy (well crazy normal maybe).   Since I had quit my job before leaving for Haiti I soon felt lost wondering what I was suppose to do with my life now.  I prayed every day that God would show me where he wanted me next.  This the the answer I got every time..."TRUST ME, you are right where I want you right now."  AND "PATIENCE, I have great things for you just be patient and trust ME."  So that is what I have done just been waiting and trusting.  I don't just sit around waiting--although at times that does sound pretty good and I am not always patient.


red, white & blue bracelet for the 4th of July

I started a hobby.  I started making jewelry and now it is really fun and a bit addicting--I have to watch myself that I don't go and buy all kinds of beads just because they are pretty or on sale...that is unless I DO have a plan for them.  I just need to keep a balance and not spend too much time on that and not on more important things...like sleep, cleaning, spending time with others, etc...  So now I have a hobby and I really enjoy it.



HOPE bracelet



Started out with some very easy stretch bracelets... 





Necklace & Earrings I made for my mom

...but soon moved into some more exciting and creative necklaces and earrings. FUN!!

I am still cooking and except for a couple weeks I felt VERY lazy I am still enjoying it.  I have felt lazy but realize that I am dealing with allergies, I do get out and mow and do yard work, work around the house, help others when I can...so really I guess I am not lazy just sometimes not as motivated as others to do some of the normal housework that needs to be done. 



I have dealt with some insomnia & it has happened to me the last 2 months that my husband & I had nursery duty at church.  I still went & played with the babies but then took a nap in the afternoon.  Don't like insomnia and don't always know why it is happening but hey it all works out as long as I don't get to grumpy--right!!



EXERCISE!!!  I NEED to be doing that but that is one area I keep putting off...OOPS!!  I will work on that.

Well I hope your summer is a great one...it sure is going by fast that is for sure.  Also, it is HOT out there.  So if you read this far then have a GREAT day and thanks for reading my ramblings...

A quick link...

Read this devotion this morning and it really hit home to me.  Don't have time to go into all the details right now but would love to share it with you.  Here is the link:

http://devotions.proverbs31.org/

I get these devotions delivered everyday (M-F) and just love them.  Here is the link to subscribe if you are interested:



Have a great weekend!!